RESTART YOUR HEART with MINDIE KNISS

The ending of any relationship is never easy, even if the split is for the best (and that usually is the case). All of us have had our hearts broken, or we have broken someone else's heart. Both sides are no fun. Heartache can be one of the most painful experiences, but the good news is that broken hearts do keep beating. The healing process after the seemingly tumultuous crumbling of what used to be blissful and harmonious can be quite cathartic. It's a purging of emotions and memorabilia. It's a ridding of energy that made us feel like a tow truck or a bumper car. It's an important part of what makes us the individuals that we are. Our partners are our best teachers. Sometimes we don't realize that until it's all over, because (after all) hindsight is always 20/20 vision. We do end up being just fine if not better than before the relationship. We realize what is acceptable and what is not. And sometimes we date the same kind of person over and over again until something figuratively smacks us upside the head and we FINALLY get it. Breaking a toxic pattern is always quite the incredible benchmark in life. These words of mine are fresh off the mental press as I just experienced a breakup that took quite a toll on me for a few days (yes, only days). I was luckily surrounded by an endless stream of love and support from my closest friends, family, and social media followers. The reinforcement that I was awesome and had amazing things going on in my life was the perfect medicine. My girls showed up with flowers and dark chocolate. My guy friends all joked that FINALLY I was on the market again. Haha! I realized that I had forgotten to foster the relationship I had with my own damn self. The light of loving the woman that I am started to lose its brilliance. The split was painful, but I realized that a big portion of the pain was because I was battling my ego. Once I had realized this, the sharpness of the pain began to fade and I could only see why we didn't work and couldn't have worked. I owe a lot of this realization to the incredible relationship expert Mindie Kniss. She is the founder of the website RestartYourHeart.com and we only had one phone conversation to turn my energy around. She guided my ship towards the current of knowing that my heart DOES want to stay open. She emailed me the next day to follow up and she said: "you mentioned this a few times yesterday: 'I am really fighting my ego on this...' How about just loving your ego?  The ego only rises up in fear, and if you shower it with love, it won't feel the need to defend itself.  Love and fear cannot co-exist.  Honor your ego by accepting that where you are is exactly perfect for what you'll learn next and where you need to go." WOW! I loved that and I couldn't agree with her more! I actually went on a date later that night after she and I spoke and I know that our conversation allowed me to keep my heart open. I had an amazing time and he was a perfect gentleman. We will be going on many more dates, because it wouldn't make any sense to put up a wall against such an incredibly awesome person. I will continue to wear my heart on my sleeve and be the radiant being that I am. I haven't felt like such a whole and thriving person in quite a few months. I'm thankful for the good-feeling memories and lessons I learned. I wouldn't take it back and I wouldn't change anything. I was meant to endure the heartache - it made me a stronger person and ready for next level love. We all deserve to be adored, cherished, celebrated, supported, and LOVED authentically. If you aren't getting back what you are putting in it's time to move on. Relationships should never feel like homework and you don't ever want to watch your love fall into a black hole. You want to see rainbows, feel butterflies, hear the music of your heart, smell the intoxicating pheromones, and taste the sweet lips of your partner. You deserve all of the above and it is fully attainable. Fairytale love doesn't only exist in movies. Sometimes it's been right under your nose for a couple years and you didn't even realize it. I can assure you of one thing, if you leave walls up - those walls won't protect you from being hurt. They will simply just keep true love out. Sometimes our hearts have to be broken so they can finally be open wide enough for true love to come, fill up every square inch of our being, and envelope us in amazingness. If you are going through a breakup, do yourself a favor and connect with Mindie as soon as possible. You have nothing to lose except that icky heartache. Follow her on Twitter! http://twitter.com/MindieKniss Check out her site! http://restartyourheart.com Email her! mindie@knisscoaching.com

Posted: 7:30 PM, Thursday, March 10, 2011

Add Comment